Houston Texans: Bill, Bill, Jamal and Joe: Adams never coming to Houston

Although they were on his list of preferred destinations, Bill O’Brien and his burning of capital ensured Jamal Adams was never coming to the Houston Texans.

There was a lot of buzz around Jamal Adams the last few weeks, and Texans fans hoped they could be a possible destination. The disgruntled All-Pro had Houston on his list of preferred teams, and we all know Bill O’Brien just loves making trades. Could it be?

I’m sure there was interest in making a deal on Houston’s end, but the reality is the cupboard was bare. After his moves over the last few seasons, GM Bill O’Brien left the team with almost no draft capital to work with. I’m sure it all played out something like this.

Bill O’Brien the coach: Hey Bill, this is Bill. I see what’s going on in New  York and we gotta call Joe Douglas. We might be able to steal Adams.

Bill O’Brien the GM: I don’t know Bill, we dealt most of our picks for next year when we got Tunsil. I got fleeced in the Hopkins deal on top of that. We may not have enough to offer.

Coach: Well let’s offer two 4ths and 3 6ths as an opener, then when they turn it down we can throw in the 3rd. How’s that sound?

GM Bill: SOLD!!! I’d take that offer for Deshaun right now, consider it done.

A few moments later:

GM Bill: Hey Joe, Bill O’Brien here. I’m not sure what you’re thinking about doing with Adams, but we would have some interest.

Joe Douglas: He’s one of our foundational pieces along with Darnold, we really aren’t shopping him. If you want to bowl us over we’ll listen, but we’re pretty sure he’s staying put.

GM Bill: Okay, I was gonna make an opening offer, but I get that you don’t want your time wasted. We’ll give you our 2021 3rd, 4th and THREE 6ths. When can we set up a physical?

JD:

GM Bill: Hello? Hello?

I’m sure GM Bill let coach Bill down easy and reminded him that he picked up David Johnson, Brandin Cooks and a concussion specialist to be named later so they’re still in great shape for the season and to keep his head up. With Derrick Henry having had 975 carries last year, Phil Rivers turning 50 and Minshew mania running wild in Jacksonville they can still hope for a division title and a first-round exit from the playoffs. Godspeed Bill, you beautiful soul.