Texans: The Most Pathetic Loss In Franchise History

Make no mistake about it, last night was the most pathetic loss in franchise history.

Going into their 14th season of ineptitude, last night’s loss was the most pathetic, disappointing, discouraging and downright disgraceful performance I have seen from this franchise in the 13+ years of Texans “football” run by owner Bob McNair.

The problem with the team starts from the way top and goes all the way to the 53rd man on the roster. Everyone is simply bad at their job. Ok, well some players are actually quite talented, which makes last night’s result even worse.

Let’s get to it.

The Texans headed into last night’s game with a 1-3 record, facing a Colts team that was without Andrew Luck. Luck hadn’t been playing so well, but he’s still a much better option than Matt Hasselbeck. To Hasselbeck’s credit, he played well enough to earn a win against the Jacksonville Jaguars last week, though that was a game the Jaguars should have won.

So we know coming into Thursday lunch it’s Hasselbeck again who will start. Vegas’s lines shifted heavily towards Houston once Luck was all but officially out and most people around the country had the Texans winning.

News came out during the day that Hasslebeck actually was in the emergency room most of the week with a terrible virus. Reports continued to surface that he was still pretty sick and may not make it a full game.

So this game was lining up for a pretty easy Texans win if you ask me. No Luck, Hasselbeck practically dead (more on this later), the Colts having a pretty crappy roster outside of Luck, the Texans actually having some talent outside of QB, and Arian Foster being back. Looking at all that makes this seem like an easy win, right?

Well, not quite.

Oct 8, 2015; Houston, TX, USA; Indianapolis Colts quarterback Matt Hasselbeck (8) scrambles against the Houston Texans at NRG Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

You see, in Houston sports we have so many ways to describe failure, but one of the most largely used phrases, verbs and adjectives have to do with the Texans. “That’s so Texans!” “We just go Texan’d.” “Texans-esque.” I mean seriously, Houston fans have experienced so much failure from this football team that we associate any other failures in this world with the Texans.

So in the failing sense, the Texans really didn’t disappoint. They lived up to expectations you can say.

Last night, though, was the peak of Texans failure. They were horrendous in a very winnable game. There were maybe five people that decided to show up to last night’s game, none of them were coaches.

You all watched the game so I don’t need to tell you how they were a fluky hail mary TD away from being blown out at home against a 40-year old QB who spent all week in the emergency room and didn’t throw a single pass during practice. Oh, and as of Wednesday night THE GUY COULDN’T EVEN TALK.

You all watched the game so I don’t need to tell you how after seemingly every other play another Texans player was penalized for a dumb penalty.

You all watched the game so I don’t need to tell you how they allowed a 34-year old WR, who came into the game with just 7 catches and 51 yards on the year, BLOW UP for 6 catches 77 yards and 2 TDs IN YOUR OWN HOUSE!

You all watched the game so I don’t need to tell you how the Texans defense had zero sacks and zero takeaways, and was stomped on and crapped on by a 40-year old quarterback, 32-year old running back and 34-year old receiver.

Oct 8, 2015; Houston, TX, USA; Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Andre Johnson (81) throws the ball into the stands after scoring a touchdown during the first quarter against the Houston Texans at NRG Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

You all watched the game and for any of y’all to tell me that THIS wasn’t the most pathetic loss in franchise history, man, y’all are delusional.

Or maybe I’m the delusional one for thinking the Texans actually had a chance in this game. I mean, this team had never proven to me once this year that they are actually half decent?!? Right?!?

Nope. What happened last night was the worst thing I have ever witnessed as a Texans fan. Yes, last week’s loss against the Falcons was bad, but at least we all knew they would lose. At least the Falcons are a much better team and they were at home. We all should have known they were going to lose.

Even during Matt Schaub’s pick-six run, all the Kubiak years and David Carr’s tenure in Houston, no loss was ever as pathetic as this one. Sure, there were really bad ones and some that they beat themselves in, but NONE as easy as a win as last night’s was.

Last night’s game was as winnable as they get and somehow the Texans couldn’t pull it out. Somehow the Texans couldn’t beat the old age home that walked into NRG Stadium last night. Somehow a quarterback on his deathbed beat the Texans. Somehow a small percentage of players gave any effort in a game that could have put them tied for the division lead. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!? HOW DO COACHES ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN?!?

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