Tweets of The Week: Houston Rockets… Duh

In honor of playoff basketball, I present to you the lyrics from the song, “The Dream Of The 90s is alive in Portland“:

FRED ARMISEN (as “Jason”): Do you remember the 90s?
CARRIE BROWNSTEIN (as “Melanie”): Yeah?
FRED: You know how people were talking about getting piercings and getting tribal tattoos?
CARRIE: Yeah?
F: And people were singing about saving the planet and forming bands?
C: Yeah?
F: There’s a place where that idea still exists as a reality. And I’ve been there.
C: Where is it?
F: Portland.
C: Oregon?
F: Yeah.

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland! (Portland…)
The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
The tattoo ink never runs dry!

F: Remember when people were content to be un-ambitious? They’d sleep ‘til 11:00, and just hang out with their friends? I mean, they had no occupations, whatsoever… maybe working a couple hours a week at a coffee shop?
C: Right. I thought that died out a long time ago.
F: Not in Portland. Portland is a city where young people go to retire.

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
All the hot girls wear glasses (yeah!)

F: Remember in the 90s when they encouraged you to be weird? It was just an amazing time where people would go to see something like the “Jim Rose Sideshow Circus” and watch someone hang something from their (expletive)? You could grow up to wanna be a clown? People went to clown school.
C: I gave up clowning years ago.
F: Well, in Portland, you don’t have to.

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
Sleep ‘til 11,
You’ll be in heaven.

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
(The dream is ali-i-ive…)

C: So, from what I can surmise, from what you’re positing, it’s like Portland’s almost an alternative universe. It’s like Gore won. The Bush administration never happened.
F: Exactly.
C: In Portland, it’s almost like cars don’t exist, right?
F: Yes.
C: They’ll ride bikes, or double-decker bikes. They ride unicycles.
F: Yes!
C: They ride the tram, they ride skateboards.
F: Yes!

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
My flannel shirt still looks fly.

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!

F: In Portland you can go to, like, a record store and sell your CDs.

Turn that dirty clown frown right upside down!

C: In Portland you can put a bird on something and just call it art.

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!
The dream of the 9—-

C: Hey. I made it.
F: Yeah. You’re… you’re a little late,
C: Sorry.
F: You’re also a little San Francisco right now, if you know what I mean. Try to… try to… Sorry. Much better! Welcome to Portland.
C: Thank you!

Portland is a joke. Go Rockets! See you kids at Toyota Center tonight.

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