Tweets of the Week: WTF, Am I Doing With My Life?
Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports
I’ve been disconnected from the world the past two weeks. I’m pretty clueless as to what’s going on. Are the Rockets in the playoffs?
In honor of my brain functioning like Kim Kardashian’s (this is how her brain functions), here’s a very obnoxious edition of Tweets of the Week.
Thank you Houston for the amazing love!!!! http://t.co/cpy2Z3llbP
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) May 4, 2013
Wow leaving the hotel there was such a crowd! Love the warm welcome Houston! I love it here! My cousins live here too! So fun to catch up!
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) June 5, 2011
[puts hand on pregnant woman’s stomach]
— lawblob (@lawblob) April 11, 2014
I’m sorry but your baby’s kicks are very weak. this baby will never be a world class fighter.
I'm not convinced Ultimate Warrior had to die. Did anyone try lifting his arm up three times in a row?
— Will Phillips (@TheThryll) April 11, 2014
Not able to make it to Coachella, so instead I'll just be putting handfuls of sand down my pants throughout the weekend
— Andy Richter@actualandyrichter.bsky.social (@AndyRichter) April 11, 2014
the QB fingered my butt “@TweetLlkeAGuy: Our best memories on Friday nights were the ones we made on athletic fields, not at parties.”
— conor hankinson (@ConorTripler) April 10, 2014
The first question you should ask a girl on a date is how much she weighs
— Mary Kobayashi (@MaryKoCo) April 10, 2014
In honor of Twitter, I ended a bad date the other night by shouting "Unfollowed!" and telling everyone in the bar why she is a bad person.
— Chris Serico (@ChrisSerico) April 9, 2014
I don't even know who I am anymore because I'm literally *this close* to adding "#crossfitgirl" to my bio.
— Lauren Reeves 🏳️🌈 (@laurenreeves) April 9, 2014
BREAKING NEWS: We don't know where a Boeing 777 jet carrying 239 people is, but we DO know Kim Kardashian went to SoulCycle in full make-up
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) March 11, 2014
Houston Astros get 0.0 television rating for game against Los Angeles Angels http://t.co/qx17cSGpwF
— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) April 9, 2014
ATTN: @HoustonTexans @HoustonRockets @astros fans... For the price you pay for a jersey, you can buy #SEASONTICKETS to support @HoustonDash
— Brittany Bock (@illBBock) April 10, 2014
Today in 1965, the Astrodome opens w/ @Astros vs. the Yankees in the 1st indoor baseball game. pic.twitter.com/SThxY5kT1Q
— Houstorian (@Houstorian) April 9, 2014
It's true that I own @FYHA2010 and "Houston: Live Music Capital Of Houston" shirts, but I'm done with having an inferiority complex.
— Being Houston (@BeingHouston) April 8, 2014
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