First World Problems: The Sochi Olympics

Multiple media outlets are reporting the terrible conditions at the Sochi Olympics.  Canadian Sports writer Bruce Arthur describes the media hotel rooms:

"Almost every room is missing something: light bulbs, TVs, lamps, chairs, curtains, wifi, heat, hot water. Shower curtains are a valuable piece of the future black market here."

He continues…

"Hotel reservations are lost, then found, if you’re lucky. German photographer Joerg Reuter arrived in the mountains and found the first room offered to him to be full of construction debris, with yellow-brown water and appliances that didn’t work."

It’s Russia, what did they think was going to happen? We can always count on high profile media-types to complain about their “first world problems”. Vladimir Putin doesn’t give a (expletive) about the media outside of Russia, he only cares about what he can control.

What we need to be asking ourselves is, what was the International Olympic Committee thinking? Did they just say, “Yeah, this place is real nice. Oh, can you build a couple more hotels? Okay, cool. Sweep up the street a little bit, get rid of the stray animals, and make sure you have extra toilet paper. If so, you got yourself a deal! Olympics. Cool. Alrightttt…”

The media is painting a false impression of Sochi.

Mike Meltser of Sports Radio 610, who’s Russian, had his father call into his show earlier today. His dad described Sochi (in a very Boris Grishenko accent) as one of the nicest cities in Russia. You can hear the entire the conversation here.

I’ve spent some time in Russia during my days as a seaman in the Navy. We docked in Vladivostok. Vladivostok  is located on the western side of Russia, above Japan. Sochi is located on the Eastern side of Russia.

I had more fun in Russia than any country other that I’ve visited. Keep in mind, I was in the Navy, so there were a ton of rules and restrictions.

• No civilian clothes. Meaning, I was forced to wear my uniform in town. This rule was enforced because, our command believed that people would mug us for our street clothes.
• Liberty ended at 10 PM. We had to be back on the boat by 10 PM, for our own safety.
• Liberty buddy. There was no leaving the boat without someone with you.

At the time, I thought that I was going to get murdered the moment I stepped off of the boat. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was the exact opposite. How opposite?

• The women in Vladivostok love American men.
• The men wanted to arm wrestle, and take shots of vodka with us. They treated us like we had been boys for years.
• 95% of the locals made sure that we made it back to the boat safe, and on time.

Feb 5, 2014; Sochi, RUSSIA; General view of the Cauldron and the Olympic Rings during the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games at Olympic Park. Mandatory Credit: Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Everything in that country was ridiculously cheap, as well. I went to a bar and spent $10 on a bottle of vodka and some orange juice. It was warm, but it was $10. There’s no way I was complaining about that.

There is some truth to the things are being written about Sochi. The corruption and the “fear”, is a real thing.

The only time that I was scared for my life, is when I was walking through the city. A black SUV stopped in the middle of the road about 30 yards away from me. Three guys in suits and automatic weapons jumped out of it, and ran down a tunnel.

The media doesn’t really have anything to complain about. Unless of course they’re in real danger, or their belongings are getting stolen.

They should really learn to live in the moment while they have the opportunity, like my buddy Tommy did, when we were in Vladivostok.

Tommy decided to get wasted at the bar, and was persuaded to leave by an attractive Russian woman. The woman took him to a public showering area, where they have “passionate relations”.

On the way back to the boat, Tommy realizes that he didn’t buy a single souvenir while he we had been in Russia. He sees a pile of bricks on the side of the road. Opens up his bag, and begins to put bricks in his bag. The Russian woman was still with him at the time. He looks at her and says, “What are you doing just standing there? Help me.”

Drunk, with a bag full of Russian bricks, without his liberty buddy, and past liberty call, Tommy makes it back to the boat safe.

He heads down to berthing (where we sleep and watch tv), and announces to the division, “I have bricks for everyone!” Then passes out bricks like they’re some kind of high priced  jewel.

I’ve never seen so many people get excited about a brick. Maybe it was the booze. Or maybe, we all just appreciated Russia so much, that we wanted to bring a piece of it back home. It probably was the booze.

Follow Marcus Chavez – @marcusdoesurmom