Andrew Richardson-USA TODAY Sports

JOHNNY MANZIEL TO THE TEXANS!!!!!!*


*See below for disclaimer featured in article title

That’s right ladies and gentlemen. I have it on good authority that the Houston Texans will be selecting none other than Johnny Manziel with the first pick of the 2014 NFL Draft.

For some of you, this is the culmination of tons of stress and hope. Finally!!! Your savior has arrived. The Texans will now return to relevance as Johnny will be the second coming of any other Super Bowl winning quarterback… but better. Peyton Manning? Who? Drew Brees? Never heard of him. Tom Brady? That guy sucks. We’ve got Manziel.

The other half of you? You’re downright angry. You hate the fact that we’re drafting a guy from down the road. You’ve never liked College Station and you won’t start now. That’s ok though. People have their college teams, and they stick to them. What we’re talking about now is the Texans. You have to find peace with this. Rick Smith sure has, and it’s about time. This is the move that will save his job. You heard it here first.

*Disclaimer: I have this on no good authority other than my own personal hopes and dreams** so I’m going to raise an army of believers from this article being shared on all forms of social media and hope they run with it because any and all NFL teams are looking for outside influence and this is the place they’ll go to find it.

I’m so sick and tired of hearing that people have it on “good authority” that we’ll be drafting one player or another. Personally, I’m hoping we’re going for Khalil Mack in a trade down scenario. I’d be satisfied with Clowney, believe me. But, if we could get Mack PLUS additional picks? That’d be ideal.

So, no. No one has it on good authority that we’ll be drafting anyone at this point. Unless you’ve got the ear of anyone in that office with the Texans brass, you’ll just have to wait like the rest of us.

**This statement does not reflect my personal hopes and dreams in any way, shape, or form.

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Tags: Featured Houston Texans Johnny Manziel Popular

  • J man

    Nope