Houston, you mad, bro? If you are I get it.
Does that anger stem from the Houston Texans? We were plagued with all those years of Gary Kubiak & Co., playing “just the tip”, with our souls. Now there’s a new regime in town, and the only moves that have been made in free agency is resigning Garrett Graham. Not to mention, of all the players that have been released, Matt Schaub and Derek Newton are still on the team.
Regardless of trade talks with the Raiders to send Matt Schaub packing, it almost appears that the Texans came into this offseason completely unprepared. Houston and St. Louis are the only two teams in the NFL, that have yet to sign a free agent.
There’s not much we can do, but sit back and watch. It’s how the world works and it’s not much different than your real job. Dealing with a hard headed boss, that could careless about your opinion. Or a coworker that just sucks at life.
We all have that coworker. The one that sucks. You’re often left wondering, how this person has managed to live so long.
I can relate. Here’s a conversation I had last week from a coworker that I named “AIDS Outbreak Monkey” (she won that name by constantly mouth breathing and running her mouth while sick, until eventually the entire office was infected with her death virus):
AIDS Outbreak Monkey: So, I called this business and there was recording that said, the number was disconnected. Does that mean they blocked my call?
Me: Uh, what?
AIDS Outbreak Monkey: Well, my friends go there all of the time. So maybe they just don’t have a phone anymore?
Me: Did you Google the business?
AIDS Outbreak Monkey: Yeah. I couldn’t find a number. I think they don’t have a phone.
Me: If they’re a business, they have a phone.
AIDS Outbreak Monkey: Yeah, but what do you think I should do? I don’t think they have a phone at all.
Me: Send them an email, or a Facebook message.
AIDS Outbreak Monkey: Oh, I never thought about that! Great idea!
Me: (thinking to myself, “Was she effing with me?”)
I wish I was making that up.
What’s terrifying is that I could legitimately see Rick Smith having a similar conversation with Bill O’Brien. Whether we want to believe it or not, there is a plan in place, and it starts with Matt Schaub. The front office is working as hard as they can, to try to make that Matt Schaub extension go away.
Matt Schaub’s contract is nothing more than a dildo falling out of a coworkers bag. It’s the elephant in the room. It’s $66 million in of frustration.
Here’s are your Tweets of the Week:
— Sean Pendergast (@SeanCablinasian) March 13, 2014
Twitter was down for a few minutes so I just ran wildly through the streets screaming all my thoughts at strangers — elan gale (@theyearofelan) March 11, 2014
My sources tell me that spaghetti can be very messy. (full disclosure: my source is a shirt)
— Archbishop Deshaies (@HouCounterplot) March 11, 2014
Someone go poke McClain, please. He’s clearly fallen asleep at the bagel tray again and I need my news on this slow ass day. #Texans
— Blair Parker (@Blairsker) March 11, 2014
— Mike K (@Zepp1978) March 16, 2014
UConn a 7? SMU left out? Very Un-American of you committee.
— Brent (@Brentweets) March 16, 2014
ESPN has a box of tissues ready for the end of this Miami game. Will be used differently depending if Lebron wins or loses. — Pierre The Pelican (@PelicanPierre) March 16, 2014
— Ben DuBose (@BenDuBose) March 14, 2014
Follow House of Houston: @houseofhouston
Follow Marcus Chavez: @marcusdoesurmom