January 2006, Vincent Paul Young Jr. just helped the Texas Longhorns win a BCS National Championship. That same year, the Houston Texans had the first pick of the NFL draft.
I think it’s safe to say, most Houston Texans fans wanted the team to draft VY, with the first pick of the draft.
We know how this story ends. In no particular order:
- Houston drafts Mario Williams.
- Tennessee drafts Vince Young.
- Houston sports talk radio is haunted with “Houston should of picked VY. McNair is racist” calls for years.
- Vince Young goes mental.
- I see Vince Young in a bar and I drunkenly yell in his direction (I’m not really sure what or why, I yelled at him).
- I begin to dislike Vince Young.
- VY gets in a fight at a Dallas strip club.
- VY gets cut by the Titans.
- Vince Young sues his former agent (A man with a history of cocaine problems. What could possibly go wrong when a junkie is your agent?)
- Vince Young bounces around the NFL.
- Vince Young files for bankruptcy.
- Vince Young undergoes plastic surgery, and legally changes his name to Johnathan Paul Manziel.
That’s right Aggies, your beloved JFF has officially become Vince Young. The only difference is we don’t know how this story is going to play out.
The similarities between 2006 and 2014 are kind of alarming. New coach paired with the old regime’s GM, with a washed up quarterback attached to their hip (Matt Schaub here!).
Aggies are known for their bat [expletive] crazy fandom. I guess I should have expected some kind of marketing push by them to get the Texans to draft their hero.
I get it, they want their guy to stay in Houston. That’s fair. It’s not any different than the Vince Young craze or Case Keenum’s stint. In my opinion, Manziel is a better quarterback than both of those guys.
But isn’t this thing getting a little carried away? Let’s examine the draftjohnnymanziel.com website.
Home - A pic of JFF mouth breathing. My favorite line on the home page: college football has never seen anything like him.
Sign The Draft Johnny Petition – What is this? Occupy Wall Street? Here’s an idea, go waste your time and sign that petition. There’s 30 seconds of your life that you will never get back.
Must Watch Videos – YouTube videos of Johnny being Johnny. I’d rather watch TMZ videos of him hanging out with those blondes from L.A.
What Others Are Saying – Coaches and scouts praising JFF. The 800 word essay by Tony Buzbee (the A&M Regent responsible for the site) kind of sticks out in the middle of the page. Tony, if you’re reading this, can you add my thoughts on Johnny? I’ll keep it short – He’s good. I wouldn’t mind if the Texans draft him. The end.
Stat Comparison – JFF > Bridgewater …DUH?
News – A write up from The Daily News in Texas City about Buzbee. Bro, is this a marketing ploy?
I know this website doesn’t speak for the entire Aggie nation. I’m sure a lot of Aggies are actually put off by this site. Believe it or not, there are a lot of level headed Aggies out there.
If this website changes your mind about the Texans drafting Johnny Manziel, please tweet me @marcusdoesurmom. I would love to know why.
If the Texans don’t draft Manziel, I’m anticipating a massive freak out by “Manziel homer” callers, on sports radio. It’ll be Vince Young all over again. Exciting.
Tags: Houston Texans