Mandatory Credit: Thomas Campbell-USA TODAY Sports

The Houston Rockets Should Trade James Harden


Have you ever heard someone say something crazy? Wait, who am I kidding, of course you have, you live in America. We’re full stupid opinions and self-rightiousness. For example, I’m typing a blog post right now. Someone is allowing me to tell you people my opinion.

But enough about me. Let’s get back to the “crazy chatter”.

Our Editor Yoni Pollak wrote about Ethan Sherwood Strauss’ quote:

The Rockets will trade James Harden. He’s bad at defense and they care about things others don’t seek to quantify. I could see Houston trading Harden for some depth and high draft picks.”

Here’s what I really hate about that quote. The part where he says:

…they (Houston Rockets) care about things others don’t seek to quantify. I could see Houston trading Harden for some depth and high draft picks.”

*Long sigh… staring at laptop screen without blinking*

Pet Peeve #248: Unjustified logic.

If you’re going to say something that’s going to make people look at you funny. At least have the (expletive) common courtesy to throw some intelligence behind your statement.

Doug Stanhope is probably one of the most offensive comics out there. He has views that raise eyebrows. A lot of people are not going to agree with him. If you really listen to him talk about a subject that he’s passionate about, at first glance it sounds nuts. By the time he’s finished with his point, you’re often left second guessing your first thought.

For example:

If marriage didn’t exist, would you invent it? Would you go “Baby, this (expletive) we got together? It’s so good we gotta get the government in on this (expletive). We can’t just share this commitment between us. We need judges and lawyers involved in this (expletive), baby. It’s hot!” – Doug Stanhope

And before anyone gets worked up, yes, Stanhope is married. And no, I’m not married. (Babe, if you’re reading this…one day…I promise. Kisses, hearts, lols)

The Houston Rockets care about things that other teams don’t seem to quantify? Yeah, when you’re a couple of pieces away from building a legit team, you care about those things (depth and draft picks). The last time I checked the Houston Rockets have two of the Top 10 players in the league. Morey isn’t stupid. He’s not just going to trade players because he wants to hoard picks and depth players.

You’re never going to catch Daryl Morey on “Hoarders: Buried Alive”.

Sorry, Ethan Sherwood Strauss, your logic is ass backwards. Although, I’m on board with trading James Harden. I’m not attached to Harden in Houston. Trading Harden would have to be worth it, now, not next season.

Bc8rBoHCMAEOCdAKnocking on the way that James Harden plays defense would be too easy. So I’m not even going down that road. I mean, just look at the picture to the right (courtesy of @DarthTexan), ‘nough said!

What’s a shooting guards main job? It’s to score points. And James Harden can score points. So he’s doing his job. It’s how he does his job, that makes me more than okay to trade him away.

Let’s start with the obvious, his obsession with holding onto the basketball. I find this extremely annoying.

Harden reminds me of Gollum/Smeagol from Lord of The Rings. The basketball is The One Ring. “My Precious…”

The similarities between Gollum/Smeagol and Harden are kind of startling. His brain is split down the middle. One side of the brain is Harden, the player that knows how to be a team player. On the other side is “The Beard”, a selfish player.

“The Beard” is a slave to the basketball. He has the illusion that possessing the ball is some great power. He thinks that he is leading the team, when actually hurting them, by jacking up shots, and making silly turnovers.

The team isn’t able to get into a rhythm when “The Beard” shows up. They put in a ton of effort trying to create space on the floor through three quarters. When the fourth quarter arrives, they stand around on offense. They’re not motivated. All of their hard work is being wasted so “The Beard” can shoot. The team begins to slowly implode and starts to only shoot three pointers.

I’m a firm believer that great players should make teammates better. “The Beard” doesn’t make anyone around him better. In fact, I’m surprised Omer Asik didn’t put Harden in the “Torture Rack” last season, after Harden cost them a few games.

“The Beard” is sloppy a player. He drives the lane, starts flailing his arms in the air, trying to draw foul. His acting skills when trying to draw a foul, are comparable to a Cinemax softcore porn actress. It’s embarrassing. A bunch of movement and bumping, topped with an awkward yelp. It’s far from believable.

I’ve seen “The Beard” lose control of the ball one time and then fall down and grab his eye. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to draw a foul or if he just wanted to lay on the ground so he would have an actual excuse,not to play defense.

Lastly “The Beard” is not clutch. I hate it when the Rockets have the ball with 20 seconds left during any quarter. “The Beard” demands the ball. Then winds down the clock to the very last second and tosses up a shot most of the time he misses.

The scariest similarity about Gollum/Smeagol and Harden is his physical transformation. He went from a clean shaved kid coming out of high school to full blown “Homeless Ed Reed beard”. The more attention he got, the longer his facial hair sprouted.

The Harden side of his brain however, is a ton of fun to watch. He’s fun to watch because he’s having fun. He makes playing ball look effortless. He makes it about the team and not about him.

I have a love/hate relationship when it comes to James Harden. I see a good player that’s not going to put in the effort to become a complete all around player. Being one dimensional could eventually hurt the Houston Rockets in the long haul.

James Harden “The Beard”, is why he should be traded. Not because Morey wants role players and draft picks.

In the next couple of days or so we will put together a list of players the Houston Rockets should aim for if they decided to trade James Harden.

 

 

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Troll comments are deeply encouraged.

Tags: Daryl Morey Houston Rockets James Harden

  • Mac Wolff

    This guy only has 6 Google+ followers! HA! What a loser. Also the kid who wrote the “Would you like James…blah blah blah” piece is a hack.

    Also Doug Stanhope is awesome, and so is your article. Certainly an opinion piece, and I imagine not an opinion held by too many yet. Although every example of Harden’s matador defense inches me closer to the dark side.

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